Posts Tagged ‘recovery’

“strings and freedom”
completed on 8.10.19

this can’t end as another sad song
from the fading light of what i knew
childhood memories i still pursue
an anchor that pulls so strong
a heavy weight holding on to me

for years i was broken
from shattered memories that i still hold
pain that seared through my soul
i’m starting to make myself whole
to escape the darkness of pain’s blindfold

instead of looking over my shoulder
where every line i write
tears a larger hole
i’m picking up my soul
i’ll write ’til i find the light inside me

i’m not forgetting
but i’m cutting the strings
to these hooks haunting me
to finally feel like i am free
so i can spread my wings

(chorus)
these holes may never fully heal
but i can sew these scars
cut these strings holding me
and release this weight off me
to head for the stars

“Toppling Down”
completed on 5.25.19

i brushed the dust off
a box lost long ago
sealed with layers of caution tape
sliced open with a knife
but the worst was yet to come

wrapped in layers
meant to protect
thought it was safe
but in the dim light i saw
chips and cracks I never knew were there

something bestowed decades ago
crafted from morals and memories
but heartache and stress
made it far too fragile
so i packed it away to keep it safe

too blind and stubborn
despite the cracks
in my ceramic skin
i poured and then poured some more
overflowed and now I’m toppling down

spilling over from the weight of it all
volatile emotions that spill and ignite
vapors of my demons incinerating
tumbling on a one way ticket
as i strike the ground

i bounced off that floor
fractured and shattered
caught on fire and couldn’t breathe
through that black smoke
couldn’t do anything but stumble and choke

but you picked up all my fragile pieces
glued me back together and made me whole
and i still have cracks
but you fill those holes
so there’s more than emptiness inside

you’re the only one
who can look past my imperfections
you’re the only one
who brings out the best in me

“Cellophane”

Posted: April 27, 2019 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , , , , , ,

“Cellophane”
completed on 4.27.19

i’ve always been scared of the unknown
so i wrapped my heart in cellophane
thin and transparent
but it was enough to keep me strong

but all the cracks in my soul
stretch and tear that cellophane
attacks that can seep inside
no barrier to shield me anymore

sometimes i wish I had been stronger
then a barrier paper thin
but I’m trying to grow stronger
grow a thicker skin

my progress and my regress
aren’t grounds for you to judge
i don’t need your critique or honesty
just let me unfold on my own

sometimes i just need my space
to figure out what makes my heart race
if i could just make this world slow down
then maybe my head wouldn’t pound

and then i could start feeling
far less lost and far more found
so maybe i’m ready to let you look in
bring out the best of me within

“Tears Like Sleet”
completed on 12.21.18

i caught up with you
in the middle of your journey
feels like a billion years
as you replay everything in your mind

i can tell by the creases on your brow
there’s some things you need help with right now
everything in life out of tune
your mind spinning like a typhoon

<chorus>
i’ll help you, my friend
lost under the dim light of a pale moon
find the blaze of our bright sun
that lights a new path for you

tears like sleet
while you’re speeding down a dead end
slipping and sliding
about to lose control

you don’t want to reach out
for help, but i’ll grab your hand
and pull you up
be an anchor to help you stand

i’ll throw you a rope
a lifeline to escape
your pain, the weight
of feeling incomplete

<bridge>
to a brand new view
’til you learn to cope
to a brand new hope
away from that tightrope

“Inhale/Exhale”
completed on 2.26.17

sometimes this life can be so rough
like sandpaper tearing
the skin right off of me
open wounds and an open heart

the sadness falling
saline rolling down my cheek
the weight of life’s responsibilities
crushing all my dreams
give me relief, throw me anything

sometimes life’s expectations
a rope slipping, a rope tightening
the lifeline in your embrace
your breath, the air my lungs need
the sunshine your love feeds me

this life can be so rough
pins and needles and heartache
but i’ll keep on fighting
’cause your love gave me a heartbeat
your love a reason to breathe
your love pushed life into me

“To the Bottom and Back”
completed on 2.11.13

i see the shock of losing her
in every destructive choice i made
everything i believed in bleeding out
a wounded heart desperate to heal

i drowned out every symptom
hoped the thrill of a new love
would wash out a loss i could not bear
embedded interest in their eyes
romanticized and always untrue

i cut corners, i got lost
i let my soul pay the cost
i didn’t let my heart pause
to deal with the underlying cause

emptiness expanded over
a tower’s shaky base
settled for any pieces close to me
forced fits fighting to stay upright

i cut corners, i got lost
i let my heart pay the cost
now that i survived the storm cloud
it’s finally time to make her proud

“Silhouette”

Posted: November 7, 2009 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , ,

“Silhouette”

put down the glass
it’s not like you need it to feel alive
everyone’s just looking for an escape
but it’s not the safety net that will save you

a kaleidoscope of bottles
everyone of them deceptive in their intent
marketed to extravagance
but will leave you a shadow of who you used to be
you’ve got to shake off that addiction

so reach down, down deep to what makes you happy
the emptiness in your soul can’t be filled by another bottle
take a deep breath and one sober step forward
you can let it go

life’s more than the blurred visions and temporary highs
so reach out – past the crowded bars and drunken masses
grab my hand
i know I can save you
because I once was you