Posts Tagged ‘loss’

(un)family

Posted: January 30, 2016 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , , , , ,

(un)family
completed on 01.29.16

sometimes blood isn’t thicker than water
the choice of obscurity over me
focusing on their pride
while i struggled to survive

the worst excuse that i could see
’cause this isn’t how a family should be
torn between anger and love
an emptiness i can’t get rid of

so i’ve swept away the stains
tried to wash away the pains
unearth the purpose for this life
to prevent living an empty dream

i’ve stumbled for so long
felt lost more than i’ve been found
an aftermath that doesn’t make sense
unclear who’s on my side of the fence

i need love to light the stars
so i can find my way back home
need you as my compass so i don’t roam
only change can slowly mend these scars

“It All Comes Back To You”
completed on 11.26.13

you were swept away
i kept my tears at bay
i thought i’d live a life without you
but that was so untrue

i never grasped the darkness
thought i had found the light
looked at life as if i knew
but it all comes back to you

i didn’t want to cry
i didn’t think i’d have to try
didn’t want to face the truth
you’d only be there in my youth

it’s like the cut of a knife
i taste the brevity of life
it’s a mountain i can’t quite climb
to give her a little more time

i’ve felt the darkness in a sunrise
drank from a glass half empty
surrounded by beautiful things
while i still wait for spring

i miss you with all my might
left without much light
there has to be a silver lining
to make my life defining

“To the Bottom and Back”
completed on 2.11.13

i see the shock of losing her
in every destructive choice i made
everything i believed in bleeding out
a wounded heart desperate to heal

i drowned out every symptom
hoped the thrill of a new love
would wash out a loss i could not bear
embedded interest in their eyes
romanticized and always untrue

i cut corners, i got lost
i let my soul pay the cost
i didn’t let my heart pause
to deal with the underlying cause

emptiness expanded over
a tower’s shaky base
settled for any pieces close to me
forced fits fighting to stay upright

i cut corners, i got lost
i let my heart pay the cost
now that i survived the storm cloud
it’s finally time to make her proud

“The Result of her Despair”

Posted: November 7, 2009 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , ,

“The Result of her Despair”
written on 2/26/09

i am startled shortly after midnight
though i already know who is there
i feel the tension, heavy in the phone lines
her tone screams frustration, no optimism at all
now i know the hammer’s coming down

i’ve always felt love conquers all
but now i know that’s untrue
love is such a gentle force
that despair can stomp it out

we had every dream come true
we never read a map ’cause we never could get lost
destination beautiful as long as we traveled side by side
we couldn’t have planned a sweeter route

but when you live with your guard down
sometimes the darkest demons strike
distance and stress stabbed her heart
she’s trying so hard but her heart is bleeding out

i’m scrambling to her rescue
but my words aren’t strong enough sutures
i squeeze her hand but she’s so cold
her love is failing fast
i wish my love could save her
but our blood type’s not the same

now my worst fears have taken her
leaving me all alone with shattered dreams of what could have been
and crumbling things of what used to be
just like my appeal

she’ll move on
to a brand new heart
to a better life
and i’ll move on
with an aching heart
to an uncertain life
but to a heart i know will heal

“Just a little bit of baggage”

i collapse in front of this rundown hotel
a bleeding heart and a worn out soul
you see, it feels as if there is not enough air to breathe
and if you knew everything that has happened to me
then you would see why I am holding on to

just a little bit of baggage
just a few shades of loneliness
just a few hats that can’t hide this troubled mind

the bellman grabs me by my worn-thin shirt
and asks what the hell is the matter with me
i struggle to say so i hold out a note which says
my mother is gone and my brother has left
leaving an empty soul and a suitcase full of

just a little bit of baggage
just a few shades of loneliness
just a few hats that can’t hide this troubled mind
just a few socks of memories i can’t let go

the bellman says ‘let me give you a hand’
but i decline, ‘i can make it on my own’
i won’t let go of this heavy case
but even if i had the strength my friends are too many towns away
so that is why i cling to

just a little bit of baggage
just a few shoes not knowing where to go
just a few pants of wishing i could turn back time

and that is why i must try to walk on by…